Ask Me Anything
by Iggycat
Summary: Alfred starts to follow Arthur on tumblr. It's not long until they become friends... and possibly more. USUK


_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Rights go to the respected owners. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I don't own tumblr, or anything else alluded to or mentioned._

_A/N: So I wrote this story in the style of tumblr ask questions. I don't know if anyone's done it before, but it turned out to be a lot of fun. Enjoy! :)_

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><p><strong>Ask Me Anything<strong>

By Iggycat

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong>started following you.

You posted: _Thank you for the follow burgerblogger._

**burgerblogger** liked your **post:** _Thank you for the follow burgerblogger._

**burgerblogger** replied to your **post:** _Thank you for the follow burgerblogger._

| _Sure dude, no problem! You post a ton of HP stuff, and I found you on ff. Your stories are beast man!_

You started following **burgerblogger**.

**burgerblogger** asked:_OMGOMGOMG FOLLOW BACK!_

Answer:_Ah, well yes. You seem to post a lot of… interesting pictures. Some nice art as well, I might add. And thank you for the compliment earlier. It means a lot to know you enjoy my writing._

**burgerblogger** asked: That's cool! Thank you! I do some of the art myself. I like to draw superheroes and stuff ya know? But more importantly, you have no idea how awesome this is for me! You're like my favorite author ever man! That one story where Ron keeps trying to ask Hermione to the Yule ball, but she's so distracted with studying she just ignores him until he tries to cast a lumos spell to get her attention, but then it goes wrong and he accidentally shines it Snape's eyes, and they lose like 50 points for Gryffindor and then everyone's pissed, including Hermione, but Ron won't give up, and he totally like, keeps trying until she says yes. Really, really inspiring man.

Answer:_Oh, so much praise, thank you. I don't know what to say… just, I hope you continue reading and enjoy my other writings as much as this one._

**burgerblogger** asked: Dude, yes. I've read everything you've ever written. Is it true that your name's Arthur? Because I read that Harry/Draco story too… Not quite sure what was going on there.

Answer:_Yes my name is Arthur. And yes, I'm male. If you have a problem with my non-heterosexual stories, you're welcome to un-follow me right now._

**burgerblogger** asked: No, no, no! I never said that I have a problem with it, just that that was your only not-straight piece, so it was kinda weird ya know? Believe me, I totally didn't mean to offend you, and I'm definitely not a homophobe or anything. My name's Alfred, and actually, I'm bi :)

Answer:_Hmph. Well, so long as you're not out to reprimand me for my story or views, you're welcome to stay. It's nice to meet you Alfred._

**burgerblogger** asked: You too Arthur! I bet we'll be friends in no time!

Answer:_Your overuse of the exclamation point is annoying whilst still managing to be entertaining. And, we'll see about that, Alfred._

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Sooooooooooooo you live in the UK? That's cool.

Answer: _I see you're stalking my profile again. Yes I live in the UK. England, to be precise._

**burgerblogger** asked: That's awesome! I've always wanted to visit England, see Big Ben and stuff. I live in America though (but I love it!).

Answer: _I figured as much. With your misspelling of 'favourite' and your high abundance of energy._

**burgerblogger** asked: Hey, I spelled 'favorite' right. You're the one that has spelling issues… And a high abundance of energy? What's that supposed to mean ? ! ? !

Answer: _Thank you for proving my point._

**burgerblogger** asked: What? You Brits are so confusing… You're probably drinking tea right now while on one of those buses with like two floors, on your way to your favorite fish and chips place.

Answer: _Ah, you're right. Do you think that's too much at once? Perhaps I should reschedule my meeting with the Queen…_

**burgerblogger** asked: OMG YOU KNOW THE QUEEN? DUDE THAT IS SO AWESOME!

Answer: _I was kidding, Alfred._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh… not cool man. Pft I bet if I said I knew the President you would have had the same reaction.

Answer: _I somehow doubt that._

**burgerblogger** asked: …For a really creative author, you're no fun :(

Answer: _I'm sorry I don't meet your expectations. I apologise._

**burgerblogger** asked: THERE IT IS AGAIN. YOU'RE SPELLING WORDS WRONG!

Answer: _I'm not doing this with you._

**burgerblogger** asked: HAH! That means I win!

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur?

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur don't leave, I didn't mean it! D:

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Hey, Arthur? I'm really sorry about the other day. I'm kinda surprised you didn't unfollow me, but I'm glad. I'd still like to talk and try and be friends though! I like meeting new people (especially people from different countries!) and I was hoping maybe we could start over? Please, I really do feel bad…

Answer: _Well that was quite grown up of you. The other day, I wasn't ignoring you, I simply had to leave._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh… ummm so does that mean we can still be friends?

Answer: _I suppose._

You posted: _Message me a number!_

_1. The story of my last kiss_

_2. What was going on in my life one year ago_

_3. My current relationship status_

_4. Where I see myself in five years time_

_5. My current goals_

_6. Something I'm not proud of_

_7. Best day of my life so far_

_8. Worst day of my life so far_

_9. How many close friends I have_

_10. One thing about myself I'd like to change_

_11. What I'm doing with my life right now_

_12. Hardest thing I've had to go through_

_13. Something that I'm proud of_

_14. An object I own that has sentimental value_

_15. Something that I've paid a lot of money for_

_16. How old is the person I like_

_17. My favourite childhood toy_

_18. School subject I am/was good at_

_19. My favourite outfit/item of clothing_

_20. Ask me a question of your choice_

**burgerblogger** asked: 1-19 :)

Answer: _Oh you are an arse…_

**burgerblogger** asked: Are ya gonna do it Artie?

Answer:_1 .It's 'going to' not 'gonna.' Please use proper grammar._

_2. Do not call me 'Artie' or anything of the sort. My name is Arthur._

**burgerblogger** asked: Awwwwwwwwwwww come on! Is that it? You're not even 'going to' answer any of them?

Answer: _Belt up. I'll answer one for you._

**burgerblogger** asked: Awesome! I was gonna ask for number one anyway ;)

Answer:_You… well fine I'll answer it. I've… never actually been kissed before, so I don't have a lovely tale to write out for you, sorry._

**burgerblogger** asked: Woah, really? You've never been kissed? But your stories are so amazing and romantic… How's that possible?

Answer: _I said I'd answer_ one_question for you and I did. An additional three will cost you ten quid._

**burgerblogger** asked: Come on! Just one more, Arthur! Pretty please? :'(

Answer: _Fine. One more, but that's all._

**burgerblogger **asked: YES! Okay lets seeeeeee… How about… 3?

Answer: _What is with you and the romance questions? …I'm currently single. My last relationship did not work out. He was a complete git who did not respect me, or my ideas and input. I don't even know why I went out with him…_

**burgerblogger** asked: I'm sorry to hear that. Some guys are douchebags… WAIT. You're gay?

Answer: _Is that a problem?_

**burgerblogger** asked: NO, NO, NO! Gosh déjà vu Arthur. Don't you remember me saying I was bi when we first met?

Answer: _I'd like to point out that we've never actually met. And yes, I vaguely remember a mention of that._

**burgerblogger** asked: Soooo what type of guys do you like? B)

Answer:_I'm not doing this. No more questions._

**burgerblogger** asked: Alright, alright. Gotta run Arthur, football practice!

Answer: _You mean rugby for girls?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh you will pay for that comment…

Answer: _As you Americans would say: Come at me bro!_

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><p>You reblogged <strong>everyonesacritic<strong>: _The person I reblogged this from has a blog worth following._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Thank you, Alfred. Even though you've only been following me, what? Two months now?

Answer: _DUDE, HELLO! Two months of tumblr time is like a decade in real life!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Right, right. How could I forget?

Answer: _It happens. I forgot stuff all the time._

**everyonesacritic** asked: …why does that not surprise me?

Answer: _HEY!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Pardon?

Answer: _…you can't pretend you didn't hear me when we're freaking TYPING Arthur T_T_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Don't type at me in that tone, young man!

Answer: _I bet I'm older than you!_

**everyonesacritic**asked: Oh, really?

Answer: _Yeah! Hey brb._

**burgerblogger** asked: Back! So what were we talking about?

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur? Where'd ya go?

**burgerblogger** asked: ARTHUR?

Answer: _Ah, sorry. I left the computer for a moment as well. I didn't realise it would worry you so… I suppose I'll alert you next time I'm leaving._

**burgerblogger** asked: Right! Great! What were we talking about?

Answer: _You truly are forgetful…_

**burgerblogger** asked: Ah, whatever! These trick-or-treaters are piling up man! Gtg!

Answer: _All right, but_ _save me a dairy milk and maybe a flake._

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><p><strong>everyonesacritic<strong> asked: Are all the memes really necessary, Alfred? They're clogging up my dashboard.

Answer: _DUDE YES! They're freaking amazing! Aren't you laughing?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: No.

Answer: _Cranky pants. You don't laugh at anything._

**everyonesacritic** asked: That's not true. I just don't laugh at you. (Or any of your ridiculous memes)

Answer: _Oh, really? What makes you laugh? I'm gonna assume it's not 'That's what she said' jokes. (Or any of my awesome memes)_

**everyonesacritic** asked: You'd be correct in assuming that. Let's see… what would make me laugh? Possibly something or someone funny, unlike you.

Answer: _Ouch man! Serious burn…_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Would you like some ice for that burn?

Answer: _Cut it out! You're supposed to be stuck up and reserved! Not dissing me!..._

**everyonesacritic** asked: So now I'm stuck up? What happened to being the admirable author that could do no wrong?

Answer: _I got to know you ;D_

You posted: _Leave a word, any word, in my ask box, and I will tell you a fact about myself relating to that word._

**everyonesacritic**liked your **post:**_Leave a word, any word, in my ask box-_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Grandiloquence.

Answer: _Dude wth. T_T_

**everyonesacritic** asked: You said any word, did you not?

Answer: _Yeah but… ugh okay._

_Grandiloquence (noun): a pompous or lofty manner of speaking or writing._

_Let's see… I have this friend Arthur who I met on tumblr. He writes with grandiloquence ;)_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Git.

Answer: _I try._

**everyonesacritic** reblogged **burgerblogger**: _Leave a word, any word, in my ask box, and I will tell you a fact about myself relating to that word._

**burgerblogger** asked: SCORE! Now I get to ask you. I'm gonna be nice and post an easy word (unlike you). Hmmmm… how about… city?

Answer: _City? Well I used to live in London. It's a beautiful town, really, but I'd love to visit New York. I've heard it's amazing._

**burgerblogger** asked: OMG! I LIVE IN NEW YORK MAN!

Answer: _I assume that requires the use of all capital letters?_

**burgerblogger**asked: AS A MATTER OF FACT, YEAH, IT DOES. London though? That's really cool. And don't worry, you'll visit New York one day, I'm sure of it.

Answer: _Is that so?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Yes, yes it is so. I'll see to it that you visit me and I can show you around NYC!

Answer: _I'll hold you to that, Alfred._

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Hey Artie. Do you actually have bad teeth? Or is that just a stereotype?

Answer: _Yes, my teeth are absolutely horrible, and I suppose you weigh about 22 stones._

**burgerblogger** asked: Stones? What?...

Answer: _I was kidding. No, my teeth are perfectly fine, thank you. It's just a stereotype, just as all Americans are overweight._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh... I knew that :D

Answer: _Of course you did. Alfred, I really can't speak now, I'm quite busy._

**burgerblogger** asked: Really? Watcha doin? B)

Answer: _If you must know, I'm writing an analytical essay on whether the discovery of Churchill's secret War Rooms would have possibly compromised the welfare of the British government or the outcome of the war during the late 1940's._

**burgerblogger** asked: Woah, you sound really smart. Are you in college? Because I've certainly never had any assignment like that.

Answer: _Yes, I'm currently in my first year at Cambridge._

**burgerblogger** asked: DUDE! CAMBRIDGE? THAT'S LIKE THE HARVARD OF THE UK!

Answer: _I suppose you could say that, yes._

**burgerblogger** asked: What's your major? Is it something in the social studies realm?

Answer: _Yes, I read history. World War Two being one of my favourite topics._

**burgerblogger** asked: That's so cool... when I get outta here I wanna study science. Probably biology.

Answer: _You're still in school then? Not that I mean to pry..._

**burgerblogger** asked: Nah, it's cool. I'm a senior, which uh... I think is like the equivalent to Year 13 in England.

Answer: _Ah, you're almost done then. Any idea where you want to study?_

**burgerblogger** asked: No, actually... nothing's really wowed me yet ya know? I got some time though since the school year just started.

Answer: _Well, the best of luck to you. And Alfred, I really have to work on this, so farewell._

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Hey Artie, random question: I was doing some research and I saw that you have prawn flavored potato chips over there (that's sooo weird man!) and I was wondering, have you had them? Are they any good? I love chips dude.

Answer: _Ah, yes we do have prawn cocktail flavoured crisps if that's what you're asking. Yes, I've had them, but I'm not a big fan. I think I'm partial to my cheese and onion._

**burgerblogger** asked: Mmmmmmm cheese and onion. That sounds a lot like sour cream and onion. Do you have any other cool flavors?

Answer: _Hmm well off the top of my head, the only ones I can really think of are roasted chicken, steak, and bacon. There's more though…_

**burgerblogger** asked: YOU HAVE BACON FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS? OMGOMGOMG! I'M GETTING ON THE NEXT PLANE TO HEATHROW!

Answer: _Lol. Don't count on me picking you up._

**burgerblogger** asked: Woah, woah, Arthur did you just type 'lol'?... Is this the start of the apocalypse?...

Answer: _Very clever. No, I just believe I'm getting used to you. Perhaps you're a bit more humorous than originally thought._

**burgerblogger** asked: Are you saying I'm funny? How about calling me the freaking hero that rescued you from your severe case of stick-up-your-ass :D

Answer: _Don't push your luck, Alfred._

**burgerblogger** asked: I'll get you to call me your hero, you'll see. I'm everyone's hero!

Answer: _Really? I didn't know everyone needed saving._

**burgerblogger** asked: Course they do! The world needs saving, Arthur. We have so many problems from discrimination and hunger to war and the fight against aids. I feel like if I can do something, even if it's as small as getting one guy in England to smile, I'm on my way to helping. We can save the world, Artie, we just need to try!

Answer: _That was… remarkably deep for you. And… for the record, I may or may not have smiled._

**burgerblogger** asked: You did! You did smile, didn't you :D

Answer: _Maybe I did, maybe I didn't._

**burgerblogger** asked: Hey Arthur, when I get to England I wanna see that smile for real, alright? :)

Answer: _We'll see Alfred, we'll see._

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Hey Arthur, does it rain a lot there? I mean we get the occasional shower in the Big Apple, but it's not a constant downpour. Is that what it's like in England? Or is it just a lot of thunderstorms?

**burgerblogger**asked: Arthur? I hope that last question wasn't too lame or anything. I was just curious, but if you think it's stupid you don't have to answer it.

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur I'm kinda worried now. You haven't been on in two weeks. I hope everything's alright. I miss talking to you. Please come back.

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur?...

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><p><strong>everyonesacritic<strong> asked: Alfred, I'm sorry I've been absent for a fortnight. I simply wasn't feeling too well. I've returned though.

Answer: _YOU'RE BACK! You weren't feeling well? Were you sick or something Artie?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Ah… no. It was all in my mind. I just… wasn't up to doing much of anything.

Answer: _All in your mind? Did something happen? Are you sure you're alright? :(_

**everyonesacritic** asked: It's nothing really, I don't want to bother you with incessant pouting over absolutely nothing.

Answer: _Clearly it's not "nothing" if you were offline for two whole weeks. And it won't bore me, I'm here to listen Arthur :)_

**everyonesacritic** asked: …I'm surprised you're showing so much compassion…no one does that to me.

Answer: _Arthur…what's wrong? Please tell me._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Nothing… it's just that stupid frog of an ex-boyfriend. He picked up a new stick with a rather large chest and had to flaunt it around campus…

Answer: _What do you care, Artie? You told me he was a dick anyway._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Yes well… that's true, but… he's just had the pleasure of reminding me that I'll never find someone. And in his own words "Vous allez mourir seul avec votre chat."

Answer: _Well I don't know French, so I have no idea what that means, but that's a lie Arthur. There's someone out there for everyone. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise._

**everyonesacritic** asked: But you said so yourself I was "cranky" and "never laugh" and that I suffer from a severe case of "stick-up-my-arse."

Answer: _Arthur I was kidding, and don't you remember? I said I cured you from that horrible illness :) Look, I don't know what this guy said or did to make you this way, but you are perfect the way you are. Don't ever change for anyone, because someone, somewhere in this world loves you just the way you are. You just have to give them a bit more time to find you._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Your comments are becoming more and more profound (what happened to the boy that liked those ridiculous memes?) But... thank you. That means a lot to me, Alfred.

Answer: _Sure thing! And the guy that loves memes is still here, you're just getting to see another side of him ^^_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Well I'm glad I did... I have to go now Alfred, but I'll talk to you soon. (And for the record, yes we get a lot of rain, but it's not a relentless. Every once in a while we do get to see the sun.)

Answer: _See ya! And really? It sounds so different from here... I really hope I get to visit one day!_

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><p>You posted: <em>Put a Disney princess in my ask :)<em>

_Cinderella - A dream or wish of mine._

_Pocahontas - A time when I chose to be rebellious._

_Mulan - A time when I had to be brave._

_Jasmine - If I could escape somewhere, where would I go and who would I bring._

_Belle - One of my favorite books._

_Snow White - One of my favorite foods._

_Ariel - One of my favorite songs._

_Aurora - Something I did on one of my birthdays._

_Rapunzel - Something I've always wanted to see._

_Tiana - Something I've worked hard on to achieve._

**burgerblogger**liked your **post:**_Put a Disney princess in my ask :)_

**burgerblogger**replied to your **post:** _Put a Disney princess in my ask :)_

| _Really Arthur? Really?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Rapunzel ;)

Answer: _Excellent choice, lad. Hmmm something I've always wanted to see? Well I've had this dream to be able to watch the ball drop in Times Square on New Year's Eve. I'm not quite sure why… but I think it seems to me it would be a lovely moment to share with someone…_

**burgerblogger** asked: That was more of an answer to Cinderella than Rapunzel, but alright ;) And I agree. I think that would be a pretty cool experience, but I think I'll wait till I have someone to share it with as well.

Answer: _You've never seen it even though you live there? I've seen youtube videos, but I'm sure it's not the same…_

**burgerblogger** asked: New York's a big place man! It's not like I live in Times Square xD Nope, I've never actually seen it in person, but you said so yourself, it'd be more fun with someone else.

Answer: _I take it you're single?_

**burgerblogger** asked: I take it you're interested?

Answer: _Hardly._

**burgerblogger** asked: Awww why's that? I'm totally for older men!

Answer: _Ignoring the fact that I've never actually met you, and that there's a rather large ocean separating us…_

**burgerblogger** asked: Long distance relationship?

Answer: _Your persistence is charming._

**burgerblogger** asked: I try ;)

Answer: _I can see that._

**burgerblogger**reblogged **everyonesacritic**: _Put a Disney princess in my ask :)_

_Cinderella - A dream or wish of mine._

_Pocahontas - A time when I chose to be rebellious._

_Mulan - A time when I had to be brave._

_Jasmine - If I could escape somewhere, where would I go and who would I bring._

_Belle - One of my favorite books._

_Snow White - One of my favorite foods._

_Ariel - One of my favorite songs._

_Aurora - Something I did on one of my birthdays._

_Rapunzel - Something I've always wanted to see._

_Tiana - Something I've worked hard on to achieve._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Now I'm curious: Rapunzel.

Answer: _Oh that one's easy, but you're gonna call me and idiot for it: You._

**everyonesacritic** asked: What? That's not a suitable answer, git!

Answer: _Called it. And sure it is! You're so interesting and fun to talk to, of course I'd want to see you._

**everyonesacritic** asked: No... no you don't. I'm sure my real life self would be a disappointment.

Answer: _Don't say that! I bet you're a great guy! And I bet you're great looking too ;D_

**everyonesacritic** asked: No... I'm not exactly easy on the eyes... or the brows...

_Answer: What? Well whatever Arthur, you're a great guy because it's what's on the outside that counts!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Lovely... and considering I'm nothing special in that department...

Answer: _SHIT! Did I write outside? I totally meant inside! It's what's on the INSIDE that counts. Crap, I must look like a total d-bag. Stupid computer typos... But I'm serious! At the end of the day, you want someone that loves you for you, not for your great ass. And please stop saying you're "nothing special" because it's not true... *Sigh* I hope that makes sense..._

**everyonesacritic** asked: You seem to like correcting my lack of self esteem.

Answer: _Well I think you should look at yourself in a positive way! Look at you (well...figuratively since I can't really see you...) you're this great guy, who's a terrific writer, clearly freakin' smart if you got into Cambridge, and you're really a nice person once someone takes the time to get to know you. And I know you'll shoot this down again, but I bet you are handsome, even if you don't think so._

**everyonesacritic** asked: ...thank you. If it's any consolation, I'd like to meet you too one day. Perhaps I really will visit New York and get to see you (though it's unlikely since I am still in university...)

Answer: _That's alright! I've waited this long, I can wait a bit longer! Hey gtg Artie, basketball practice!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Well... have fun then.

Answer:_Thanks! See ya!_

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><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: MERRY CHRISTMAS ARTHUR!

Answer: _Yes, happy Christmas to you as well._

**burgerblogger** asked: So how's your holiday going?

Answer: _It's all right. I've gone back to London to spend it with my family. My brothers are a pain in the arse though…_

**burgerblogger** asked: You have brothers? Me too! He's really quiet though, he'd probably say I'm the annoying one.

Answer: _I wouldn't argue the point._

**burgerblogger** asked: HEY! Eh, but yeah. So… did you get any good gifts?

Answer: _Yes, as a matter of fact. My mum bought me the complete series of Sherlock Holmes in original binding. I've wanted these for so long… you have no idea._

**burgerblogger** asked: Cool, anything else?

Answer: _Hmmm… ah well my brothers gave me a new portable gaming device to take back to university. I believe it was PSP or something like that. But I gave it to my younger brother Peter since I'm not really interested in that type of thing._

**burgerblogger** asked: YOU GAVE AWAY A BRAND NEW PSP? *HEADDESK*

Answer: _You should have told me you were interested. I would have sent it to you._

**burgerblogger** asked: Stop, Arthur, just stop… you're making it worse…

Answer: _All right. Alfred I'll be back in a second, my mum's called me for something._

**burgerblogger** asked: Gotcha! Gotta take care of the moms ;)

Answer: _Hey how do we answer these things? Ah I think this is it!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Artie?

Answer: _Oh Artie now is it? The bastard must have finally found himself a boy toy!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur are you okay? I'm kinda worried…

Answer: _Oh don't worry about me, love! I'll just sit here, and whine to you about how hideous I am, and how I have no friends, and how I wish I hadn't tattooed that electric guitar on my left arse cheek after getting pissed at last year's New Year's Eve party!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur?...

Answer: _Oh yes, sweetness? I hope you know that I want you so bad. Come to me, come and- akgfkdsb,f GET OFF THE COMPUTER ARSEHOLES a;sjfhanwerjigfj Oh, love don't leave ;LJSDFN;AJSNG;AM,ABHDSGKF_

**burgerblogger** asked: Okay Arthur, now I'm seriously concerned…

Answer: _Ah, I am so, so sorry about that. I left the screen up, and when I went to help mum, my idiot brothers invaded my tumblr. I hope they didn't cause you too much trouble._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh, no. They just seemed to think I was your boyfriend or something…

Answer: _…I…I do apologise for that… quite the laughing matter, eh?..._

**burgerblogger** asked: Yeah! Ha! Haha… Hahaha … ... ...

Answer: _Look, Alfred I'm really sorry, please don't take it personally._

**burgerblogger** asked: Nah, it's fine really. I know how brothers can be.

Answer: _Oh good. Well, my apologies once more._

**burgerblogger** asked: S'kay. Sooo… you have a guitar tattooed on your butt? B)

Answer: _Alfred, I have to go. I'll talk to you once I've killed my brothers._

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><p><strong>everyonesacritic<strong>asked: You wished me a merry Christmas, so I thought I'd wish you a happy New Year.

Answer: _Thanks, man. Is it next year in the UK already?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Indeed it is. I just got back from watching the fireworks on the Thames.

Answer: _That musta been nice. I'd love to see those in person one day too._

**everyonesacritic** asked: If you ever visit on New Year's Eve, I know the perfect spot.

Answer: _Awesome. I'm sure it's better than sitting here on my couch waiting for the balls to drop._

**burgerblogger** asked: GAH, BALL. AS IN SINGULAR. NOT PLURAL. *haswaytomanytypos*

Answer: _Is it bad I actually snickered at that? I'm turning into you._

**burgerblogger** asked: Hey what can I say? My awesomeness rubs off on people ;D

Answer: _Of course it does._

You posted: _Do this anonymously or not, I want to know_

_A -__I love you._

_B -__I hate you._

_C -__I love your blog._

_D -__You're cute._

_E -__You're nice._

_F -__You don't belong here._

_G -__I don't like you._

_H -__Deactivate your tumblr account._

_I -__I'm your secret admirer._

_J -__I love the way you express yourself._

_K -__You're too beautiful._

_L -__I miss you._

_M -__Stay humble._

_N -__You're too popular._

_O -__You're tumblr famous._

_P -__Awesome blog._

_Q -__I'm in love with you._

_R -__You annoy me._

**burgerblogger** asked: A, C, D, E, I, J, K, L, M, O, P and Q :)

Answer: _Alfred, that's basically the whole alphabet. I'm even going to bother checking them._

**burgerblogger** asked: Aww come on Arthur! There are some really good ones in there!

Answer: _Goodnight, Alfred._

**burgerblogger** asked: BUT ARTHUR!

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur...

* * *

><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: Good day fine chap! Pip pip, cheerio and all that nonsense!

Answer: _Are you feeling all right, Alfred?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Course I am! Why d'you ask?

Answer: _No reason..._

**burgerblogger** asked: How are you this fine day?

Answer: _I'm well. And I was making quite a bit of progress on my next story until you showed up._

**burgerblogger** asked: YOUR NEXT STORY? OMGOMGOMG WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Answer: _No spoilers I'm afraid, Alfred. You'll just have to wait._

**burgerblogger** asked: But Artieeeeeee!

Answer: _That really has no effect when I can't actually hear you whining._

**burgerblogger** asked: *pouts*

Answer: _Suit yourself._

You posted: _Who do you ship me with? Celebrity, tumblr person, fictional, band member, anything. Put it in my ask box!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Can I answer your post?

Answer: _Idiot, why else would I have put it up?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Me.

Answer: _What about you?_

**burgerblogger** asked: No, no... me... as in the answer to your post.

Answer: _...what?_

**burgerblogger** asked: I've had a cyber crush on you for awhile now... And since we started talking... idk you just seem like a really great guy and I feel like if you actually met me, you'd really like me too. I think we'd be really good together, Arthur.

Answer: _But... you don't even know me. I don't know you. We've never met, hell, we've never even seen each other! And all that put aside, you live in America. I live in England. It would never work..._

**burgerblogger** asked: Does it matter? I'll send you a photo if you want! You don't even have to send me one because looks aren't that important to me! We could try a long distance thing!

Answer: _No... Alfred... I think you're missing the point. It's not that I'd turn you down because you're not attractive, it's just... We have our own lives. I live here and you live there. I'm just that friend you're never going to really meet._

**burgerblogger** asked: Then why did you talk about coming to New York and visiting me?...

Answer: _I don't know, Alfred... dreams... silly talk. I didn't think you were taking any of this seriously. I thought you'd know just as well as me that we were just online friends._

**burgerblogger** asked: So you have no interest in even seeing me then? If I flew to London right now, would you pick me up?

Answer: _Yes... I would. Because I do care about you, as much as I hate to admit it. And I am interested in seeing you it's just...ugh..._

**burgerblogger** asked: Wait, you WOULD? And you care? Then why can't we try a long distance relationship?

Answer: _Alfred, I'm not dating anyone outside of a 100 mile radius. I hope you understand..._

**burgerblogger** asked: ...alright, fine... I guess I can see where you're coming from... But we can still be good friends, right?

Answer: _Of course..._

**burgerblogger** asked: And if I ever do show up in London, you owe me a personal tour, got it?

Answer: _Yes, yes. The same goes for New York!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Sure thing :)

Answer: _It's late here, I'm going to bed._

**burgerblogger** asked: What? It's only 6 here. Night's young man!

Answer: _Yes, but it's 11 here._

**burgerblogger** asked: Sweet dreams!

Answer: _Goodnight._

* * *

><p>You reblogged <strong>maplemyworld<strong>: _Reblog if you want messages about ANYTHING!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Getting a bit desperate now aren't we?

Answer: _ARTHUR! Gosh you're back. You haven't talked to me in awhile and I was afraid to say anything since our last conversation was... yeah. I really don't want it to be awkward between us!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Sorry about that. I've just been thinking about things.

Answer: _Uh-oh. What did that asshole of an ex-boyfriend do this time?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: No, no, nothing like that. I've been thinking about other things. Nothing important, really.

Answer: _Oh, well alright. But if you ever wanna talk, I'm here kay?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Yes, I know Alfred, thank you.

Answer: _No problem! And oh... um... happy Valentine's Day, Arthur._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Ah, you mean Single Awareness Day?

Answer: _LOL! That too xD_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Go watch some silly romantic comedy.

Answer: _Will do! But before I go... Artie, will you be my valentine? Just for today of course, I know what you said about the long-distance relationships and shit._

**everyonesacritic** asked: ...I suppose... one day wouldn't hurt.

Answer: _YES! I didn't even have to use my epic pick up lines :D_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Do I even want to know?

Answer: _Sure you do! Ready?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Answer: _Wow…_

**burgerblogger** asked: You must be a magnet, because it looks like you're attracted to my buns of steel.

Answer: _Alfred._

**burgerblogger** asked: Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? Some little kid with wings shot me.

Answer: _Alfred…_

**burgerblogger** asked: Do you have any American in you? No? Would you like some?

Answer: _ALFRED!_

**burgerblogger** asked: Alright, alright I'm done. xD

Answer: _Finally._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh hey, Artie, one last thing before I go: Can I have directions?

Answer: _What? Where do you need directions to?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Your heart.

Answer: _…_

* * *

><p><strong>everyonesacritic<strong> asked: Would you mind if I asked a few questions about America?

Answer: _Shoot._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Do you get a lot of snow? If so, what's that like?

Answer: _Well, NYC does get its fair share of snow, but it's nothing like Boston or Chicago. Up there the snow just keeps piling up, and kids still have to go to school cause those cities are prepared for the weather. Down here though, we get some snow. Occasionally it'll top a foot and the schools will close. I love snow days ^^_

**everyonesacritic** asked: That sounds nice. We seldom get snow here. And if we do, it's never enough to make a snowman or snow angel as they do in all the Hollywood movies.

Answer: _Another reason for you to come and visit :)_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Yes, yes. What's it like living in such a vast country? I know that's a strange question, but I'm curious.

Answer: _Hmm... no one's ever asked that before. It's... interesting I guess. Our country's so big and diverse that we get flooded with so many different cultures and viewpoints. Plus each area has its own way of speaking and doing things (though you guys have different accents, don't you?) and it's just nice to have variety. Oh! And it's also great being so big cause there are so many places to visit, you'll never run out of vacation spots!_

**everyonesacritic** asked: Mhm. I heard California's nice. I'd love to go there one day as well.

Answer: _Cali is EPIC. Sunshine, sand, and Hollywood. What more could you want?_

**everyonesacritic** asked: My afternoon tea, and a slight drizzle :)

Answer: _Well I guess everyone's partial to their own country and culture ;)_

**everyonesacritic** asked: True. No matter how many places I visit, England will always be home.

Answer: _Yup! Well... I mean not for me, but I getcha! Hey, gtg Artie, baseball tryouts._

**everyonesacritic** asked: Baseball tryouts? How many sports do you play?

Answer: _A LOT. Bye!_

* * *

><p><strong>burgerblogger<strong> asked: KLASJDBFLAKSJBFH!

Answer: _I'm sorry, I don't speak troll._

**burgerblogger** asked: Oh HAHA. Weird how we never really talk about HP even though that's why I followed you in the first place... But more importantly: LJKDFNLHKJHILVBAKBL!

Answer: _Spit it out._

**burgerblogger** asked: I GOT IN!

Answer: _In? Into what?_

**burgerblogger** asked: INTO THE COLLEGE I WANTED TO GET INTO!

Answer: _Oh, congratulations! Where is it you'll be studying?_

**burgerblogger** asked: Imperial College!

Answer: _Imperial College?... wait a minute... that's in London._

**burgerblogger** asked: Exactly! And according to google maps it's 60.5 miles from Cambridge which means it falls within a hundred mile radius... :D

Answer: _...what? Alfred, no. You are not moving halfway around the world just so you can date me, realise I'm a complete bore, and then regret having left America._

**burgerblogger** asked: You're right. I'm moving halfway around the world so I can experience a new culture, attend the 3rd best life sciences and biomedicines school in the Europe and 9th in the world, and as an added bonus, I'll get to date a great guy I'm dying to meet.

Answer: _...your persistence is charming._

**burgerblogger** asked: I've heard that before. So... what do you say, Arthur? If I'm really that ugly, you can leave after the first date. PLEASE! Please just give me a shot!

Answer: ..._I'll pick you up at the airport. I owe you a personal tour, do I not?_

**burgerblogger** asked: You're the best, Arthur! See I told you we'd be great friends! Maybe we'll be more! :D

Answer: _Don't push your luck, Alfred._

* * *

><p>To: arthurkirkland. co .uk<p>

From: absolutezahero. gmail

Subject: Hi

Sooooooooo... are you enjoying your trip to New York?

**x**

To: absolutezahero. gmail

From: arthurkirkland. co .uk

Subject: RE: Hi

Very much, love. Thank you for taking me here.

**x**

To: arthurkirkland. co .uk

From: absolutezahero. gmail

Subject: RE: Hi

You're welcome. Anything for my love muffin :) Hey, by the way Arthur, whatever happened to your blog on tumblr? Maybe you should check it.

**x**

To: absolutezahero. gmail

From: arthurkirkland. co .uk

Subject: RE: Hi

That's quite the random question, but don't be absurd. I haven't been on tumblr in what? Three years? There's no point anymore since you're here. Speaking of that... why are you emailing me whilst being in the same room? Get up off your lazy arse and come talk to me.

**x**

To: arthurkirkland. co .uk

From: absolutezahero. gmail

Subject: RE: Hi

Aww come on! I think you should go back on, just to check. You should be more sympathetic to your blog! That is how we met after all~ *kisses*

**x**

To: absolutezahero. gmail

From: arthurkirkland. co .uk

Subject: RE: Hi

I'd appreciate it if you came over here and gave me a real kiss, as opposed to this typed out nonsense. And yes, that may have been where we met, but that was five years ago. I'm sure all my followers have left me, or grown up and gotten lives. Besides, my most important follower is now sitting in my hotel room.

**x**

To: arthurkirkland. co .uk

From: absolutezahero. gmail

Subject: RE: Hi

Come on Artieeee! Just go on and check for me? Please? If you do, I will come over there and give you the bestest kiss I could ever give my boyfriend. Oh, and for the record, I'm sure you still have one follower ;)

**x**

To: absolutezahero. gmail

From: arthurkirkland. co .uk

Subject: RE: Hi

You and your persistence... all right, but I'd better get that kiss... and I want to top tonight.

**x**

To: arthurkirkland. co .uk

From: absolutezahero. gmail

Subject: RE: Hi

Sure thing, babe ;) xoxoxo

* * *

><p>You posted: <em>My idiot boyfriend is making me log back in here after three years of absence.<em>

**burgerblogger** liked your **post:** _My idiot boyfriend is making me-_

**burgerblogger**replied to your **post:** _My idiot boyfriend is making me-_

| _Do you have any messages? Maybe someone still has a question!_

You posted: _Yes, I have one unopened message. Alfred, honestly, why are you making me do this?_

**burgerblogger**replied to your **post:** _Yes, I have one unopened message-_

| _Open it! Open it! You'll see :)_

You posted: _All right, all right. I'll answer one more question for my stupid love._

**burgerblogger** asked: Arthur Kirkland, will you marry me?

Answer: _Yes._


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